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Archive for July, 2008

When I was younger, I always thought I may want to adopt in the future. When I thought I wasn’t going to get married, I really thought I would adopt once I ‘settled down’.

Life had other plans for me. I got married and now am pregnant with our first. 🙂

A part of me still thinks adopting isn’t such a bad idea.

However, now that I am not longer single, I have another person’s desire and opinion to consider.

Segue into last week: There was a strange sound in the house. We carefully went to investigate. It turned out to be nothing. But B commented, “This is why I’d like to have a gun in the house.”

He’s known of my dislike of guns in the house…always made that clear. He’s always told me he would feel more secure with one in the house. He never hid that. And with his background in the military, I can understand why.

So this is how I came to the conclusion of my title:
As long as one of us is not sure about adopting or having a gun in the house, we really can’t…or rather shouldn’t try to force the other person to accept something he/she isn’t ready to accept.

I don’t want to worry about my child/ren getting into the gun safe and possibly hurting himself/themselves. I could think of a myriad of other things that could happen. And eventually me resenting B or the situation.

At the same time, I don’t want to force B into a position of taking in children who deserve to be loved…but possibly won’t be loved ‘like his own.’ That’s not fair to B or to these fictional children. I realize not everybody was meant to be adoptive parents.

So there you go…adoption and guns. What do they call this?  A Mexican standoff or something?

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wk28b

Originally uploaded by dragonfly_727

I think as soon as I posted Week 27, I started to expand at an increasing rate. I know I am pregnant…but now I FEEL it. I waddle when I walk. My belly catches crumbs, liquid, or whatever I need a temporary place to rest it.
Noodles is moving around A LOT. My friend was telling me she read somewhere that the amount the baby moves means your baby may be that much more intelligent.
If that’s the case, Noodles is the next Einstein. 🙂

2 months and a half to go before we meet Noodles. Exciting AND scary!

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Because we’re looking for the perfect name for Noodles, this one caught my attention:

Child in Australia goes to court to change her name.

The following aren’t nearly as bad…but still unique.

Being in education, I’ve heard my share of unique names. This is not “Oh, I heard it from a friend of a friend.” Either I met the child myself OR a colleague had this child in her school: (all legal names)

  • Wiley Coyote (Last Name…not giving last names just in case YOU are reading this.)
  • Baby Boy (Last Name)
  • Chardonnay
  • Daquiri
  • Karvasia (pronounced “Courvoisier”…think that’s the drink spelling)
  • I’ll think of more later…been up all night…brain is mush

Another interesting baby story: Twins born to mother from Ghana and German father. Apparently, they are literally ‘one in a million’ chance of that happening. Maybe they should go buy lottery tickets.

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B and our friends have been having babies around the same time left and right. Which is really nice once we have our own…many ready made playmates. But with so many babies around, talk turns to…well, baby things. Right now, a few of us were talking about the ideal baby room. So for this post, I’m linking all the different rooms I’ve found that I liked. Especially cute decorations.
At the very bottom are the vinyl wall art that I just LOVE! No commitment, just great graphic designs.
I’ll keep adding as I find them.

I’m looking for more graphic rooms than “cutesy”. Any suggestions? Of course this list is ongoing and will be updated as I find more.

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When I first started this blog…or rather the first versions on other blog services…I was doing it more as a ‘diary’ and a place to keep all of my internet ‘finds’ and fav sites.

Looking at all of my past entries, I can see how I have changed…don’t know if I have ‘grown’ necessarily…but definitely changed. The biggest change lately is the fact that most of my entries revolve around my pregnancy and motherhood. I never meant this to become a “mommy blog.” And it won’t always be one. I figure while this is the biggest ‘new thing’ in my life, that will be my focus. As I get used to it, it will be back to being more random.

Speaking of ‘mommy blogs’, I have a few I read pretty frequently. Not specifically ‘mommy blogs’. But things to do with babies and children:

But my favorites? Daddy blogs. And there are tons out there. My personal favorite is MetroDad. If you are easily offended by blue language, don’t read him. But if you want to read a funny, poignant, interesting view on parenting from a dad’s point of view, he’s your man.

Mommy blogs are fine…it’s neat to be able to share experiences, commiserate, and read what others are doing. However I like reading what the ‘other half’ thinks about fatherhood. (which, surprisingly, is similar…yet very different) It’s fascinating.

It’s also made me realize something: If we are so blessed to have another child after Noodles, I really, really hope we have a daughter. Yes, a ‘matching set’ would be nice. And a testosteron-y household may be a little overwhelming for this lone female. (And the horror stories about B and his brother growing up keep me up at nights.)
It’s more than that: I think B would be missing out on a life changing experience.

As I see it, when a man has a son, there is an element of selfishness to it. Yes, yes. He does want to provide for his child so he has a better life, protect, etc.
But if he’s honest with himself, there’s a lot of ‘me’ projected onto a son. For example, he wants a son to carry on the name…traditions. Do “Daddy and Son” things that either he did with his dad…or wished his dad had done with him. Live vicariously through him…things he (the dad) wasn’t able to do.
If the little scamp gets into shenanigans, he says, “Son, you know better.” But secretly, he’s rather proud of the cojones the kid has on him. Even telling his buddies about what ‘my boy did’…couching it in terms that implies disapproval yet body language and inflection that says, “Yup, that’s my BOY…the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree!”

A reflection of himself…projected into the future. (Probably a reason why fathers have a more difficult time dealing with a son ‘coming out’ than mothers.)

However, when a father has a daughter, I think it changes him fundamentally. It’s no longer about ‘me’…but more about her and her place in the world.

If he is a good man, he’s started that journey already…getting away from The Lord of the Flies mentality and stupid frat boy pranks that he thought were hilarious…right around the time he decided to care for someone else more than himself. (like a wife/life partner). Ideally.

But when he has a little girl, he goes beyond his wants and needs. He wants to make the world better and safer for his little princess. He realizes what a jerk he was…and never to let anyone like him near his precious child. He does things he never thought in a million years he’d do…as a man: tea parties, putting a ponytail in just so, soothing tears, having homicidal thoughts towards another being for, well, doing things he did when he was a young lad.

B’s always said that ‘Women Civilize Men.’ But a daughter takes the ‘civilized Man’ and temper him further, smooths out the rough edges, softens him. Makes him see beyond himself and his desires.
A daughter makes him a better man…a better human being.

Reading MetroDad’s entries…and how he describes himself “pre-daughter”…I don’t think I would’ve liked him much. But his experience with his daughter…how he talks about her and his wife…I wouldn’t mind ‘hangin’ with that guy.

We want to try to have another child soon after Noodles’ birth. If we were to have another son, I will still celebrate it and love him unconditionally. But I must admit, a small part of me will be sad for me. But a bigger part will be sad for B: All those tea parties he will miss. The daddy/daughter bonding that is so special. And the bittersweet tears of walking his little princess down the aisle.
Making the world just a little bit better for her.

It’s a good thing he’s a “good guy” to start with. 🙂

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That’s the magic number. It’s not exact…but about how many diapers Noodles will go through the first year of his life.

Is that not amazing?! The mind boggles!

The math: about 10-12 diaper changes a day…for 365…but it does taper off a little to around 8 a day the latter part of the year. So averaging it a bit, 3000.

And here I was thinking 3 boxes of 250 count diapers on our baby registry was way too much. Ha! How naive I was.

Can you imagine the amount of disposable diapers that go into the landfill?! (more…)

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I got this a while ago back. Made me laugh until I practically wet myself.

I’m cleaning out my email box because I’m constantly getting ‘your mailbox is full’ reminders.

So I don’t lose it, posting it here for ‘safe keeping’ and for others to enjoy. (more…)

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