Archive for November, 2008

And I mean that in the nicest way possible.

There are some really militant ‘breastfeed only’ advocates out there. They LOOK like normal people. But as soon as you even mention ‘formula’, they get all weird and glaze over.

I KNOW breastfeeding is best. But when you have a 10+ baby who is HUNGRY, and your milk hasn’t come in yet so that little amount of colostrum is all you have, you HAVE to supplement. But she was like, “No, try to do it without.” My baby was starving. Finally, she said, “Well, if you must, give him an ounce of formula.” One ounce?! He can drink that in one suck. Even the nursery nurse said, “She doesn’t see what we see…how hungry he gets. Just feed him 2 ounces if he’s still hungry.”

I felt like a terrible mother. I even cried because how awful I felt…and was made to feel.And he lost so much weight.

My milk has come in…but there are still times when I have to supplement because he’s hit a growth spur and still needs a little extra.

I don’t think I can do this breastfeeding thing for a year. My goal is to do it for 6 months. I’ll even be happy with 3 good months. But I know, I KNOW, breastmilk is best so will try. Thank goodness Nelle got us the Medela breast pump. A godsend!

For those women who can breastfeed and produce enough for their babies, kudos for you. But please don’t make the rest of us feel like terrible mothers because we can’t make enough…or have the babies latch properly. We’re doing the best we can. Even a formula fed baby is better than a starving, emaciated one.


Read Full Post »

It’s been a while since I wrote…and I figure it’ll be that way for a while now. I’m going to try to post in order so I don’t get messed up. But again, this is going to be a slow process. Lack of sleep, you understand.

Greyson was a rather ‘husky’ little boy. He was a surprise in size for everybody…including the OBGYN.


Oct. 17, 2008, 8:40pm
10 lb 1 oz.
21.5″ long

Oh, btw, he is SO amazing! I’m being totally unbiased here. You can tell he is! 🙂

My friend, Jello, asked me to tell her when I KNEW I was ‘in love’. I think it took me 3 days. The first two days I was so out of sorts from the medication and all. But it just happened. All those things you hear…”You’ll understand when you are a mother.” and all…I UNDERSTAND now. I can’t think of anything I won’t do for this little boy.
I would be a lot more polished in my speech but so tired…just getting this out is saying something.

Delivery Day:

Went in 5:30am, admitted. Started Pitocin. Not much happened. To be honest, the contractions weren’t bad. (but I must admit, I probably have a higher pain tolerance than average) The doctor and nurses kept asking did I want the epidural. But I didn’t think I needed it until right before I had to push in the evening…5pm or so.
I actually had a ‘full house’ in the delivery room with my sister, Donna, Nelle, my mother, and B all there to cheer me on. After a certain point, I really didn’t care who saw what. 🙂

I started to push in earnest for 3 hours…that was so tiring. Dr. Limosnero said his head was starting to swell and was no lower. We might want to consider a C-section…I’ve done everything I could. He just didn’t seem to want to come out that way.

So the room was clear. I was wheeled into the OR with B. They upped the meds through the epidural. The normal cutting, etc. So I finally feel a little tug…then more…than much more forcefully. And pain. I must have wimpered because he put more meds in me. More tugging that felt like my insides were being pulled out.

I felt B get tense next to me. But I do remember asking him, “Did you take a picture?”
I didn’t find out until later that B wasn’t even given the option to cut the cord because Greyson wasn’t breathing for a bit from the stress of the delivery. He was so large that the normal cut for the C-section wasn’t large enough for him. After trying to tug him out, they had to cut into the muscle of my stomach crossway to make enough room to get him out.

After this, everything was wrapped in cotton in my head. Don’t remember who was there…what they said. Even when they put Greyson next to me, I don’t remember much of it. I couldn’t hold him in my arms as the medication gave me no control.

Next day was much the same…fuzziness. People coming in almost every hour to check up on me, my incision, and my stats.

Ren & JoAnn came to visit…but I probably didn’t make a whole lot of sense. Take pictures. Bye, bye.

Doctor comes in to check on me the next day. My body, face, etc. are swollen. She says that’s normal. Okay. She gives the ‘ok’ to leave so we go home later that day.

My parents and sister had cleaned the house and decorated the livingroom and bedroom with balloons, signs, streamers, and a huge bucket of pink roses. That was so sweet of them. Since my milk hadn’t come in, they were able to feed him with formula while I took a nap.

Later that day, we had sushi. A LOT of sushi. I bet we had a few hundred dollars worth. Thanks Dad! 🙂

A few days later, my dad and sister left to go back to their respective places. Mom stayed on to help me. (As a friend said, Moms are angels on earth. How true.)

BTW, I am still swollen…and getting bigger. I can’t bend my ankles so I waddle when I walk. I also learned why really large people walk this way…the ankles! By Thursday, my MIL is telling me I HAVE to go see the doctor. I emailed the nurse at school with pictures. She says I HAVE to go see the doctor. So I go see the doctor on Friday.

Apparently, when she said I’d be swollen, she didn’t mean what she saw. (which I didn’t think was much different than what she saw me look like two days after delivery.) She put me on 5 days of Lasix.
Pre-delivery, I weighed 148. That Friday, in her office, I weighed 147. That’s how bloated I was.
Monday, I was down 15 pounds. So now back to normal with the bloats gone. My waist is 29 inches and all soft and jiggly 2 weeks after delivery. (When will that tighten up?)

BTW, the stomach looks awful! It’s dark looking with crepey textured skin. The linea negre is not going away. There’s an extra pouch of ridge right above the incision mark. However, the incision mark is great. She did a great job with that.

It’s going to be a slow process. But at least I can get back into my normal ‘fat’ jeans. Now to get back into my regular clothes.

But it’s all worth it for our amazing little boy. He’s so adorable and cute…and gaseous like his daddy.
Will have to post pictures later.

Read Full Post »