Before Baby, After Baby

BEFORE BABY
TheJennifer: “Oh look! Here’s a packet of ten bibs. I can put these individual ones back and get these. That’s all I’ll need.”

“Hey, Gerber has a pack of onesies. 6 should almost last me a week. I can just do a load every week. Oh heck, why don’t we get two packs and do laundry every other week?”

AFTER BABY
TheJennifer: “Honey, why are you using that rag as a bib? We bought ten, you know.”
“What do you mean he used them all? He’s not even done with lunch!”

“Dear, do you think we should do a load or two a day instead of 8 on the weekend? I think I smell the motor burning. We really need more onesies. Winter is coming soon. We can’t keep him nekkid all the time. Yes, even if it IS easier to clean him. Someone might see and call CPS.”

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First Mother EVER in the history of ever

I don’t know about mothers who’ve had more than one child as I’m a brand-spankin’ new mom. But if you are a first time mom, doesn’t it feel like YOU are the first mother EVER?
You think nobody else could have felt what you are feeling? These gut-wrenching fears, or the all encompassing love that overwhelms you at times. Nobody else has experienced and noticed these wonderful new things the way you have? How amazingly developed the muscles in his neck are or evolved his comedic timing is.

Are you as annoying to experienced mothers as they seem to be to you?

Brand New Mothers: “”Every kid does that?” Arrghh!!! MY child is SPECIAL! How can you be so blind as to NOT recognize this?”
Experienced Mothers: “Oh good Lord, you’d think you invented Motherhood! Get over yourself!”

As a new mom, I implore experience mothers to let us have this moment. Just nod your head and say, “That’s wonderful!” instead of “Yeah, most of them will at that age.”

Let us rhapsodize about his cute farts, sweet smelling poos, his amazing aim & timing with his peeing…just this once. Don’t ruin the moment by rolling your eyes. Or telling us how singularly normal all this is.

Remember when you thought YOUR child’s every babble was the most scintillating conversation…every bodily function was the most fascinating thing in the world? That his every action proved he was the most advanced baby this world had ever seen?

I think all children should have had that opportunity…to be that loved in someone’s eyes. Whether a biological mother, adoptive mother, or grandparents…SOMEONE should look at that child and fit to burst with love and pride. My heart breaks for those kids who never got to see or experience what should have been a God-given right to have.

This truly is a magical time for us new moms…kind of like the moment in time when your children believed in Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy. So don’t ruin it for us. It’s so fleeting. Who’s it gonna hurt?

Besides, I promise if you let us have this time, I won’t let the cat out of the bag about Santa and the Tooth Fairy.

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